Putting things out clearly

inspired by Arnold who left a comment on this post of mine .........

I have a thing against sensible and non-airheaded women having this thing about having their eyes open and walking into relationships which are so obviously not working.

i guess i should stress that it isnt the girls i'm trying to make out as bitches, its the sheer frustration that such total bastards would end up using these girls, and that these intelligent, self-aware girls would LET themselves be used.

yes, i realise that it makes me sound angry, and i dont intend this post to somehow justify that emotion.

I used to believe that one is supposed not to let one's friends walk into the path of a onrushing train.

but i've realised (since the last post , hence the lack of posts therein) that part of being friends is letting them be run over .... its all about Freedom of Choice ....

confusion

what is with girls liking mean guys? i mean they KNOW they are going to be used and hung out to dry and the girls still prefer them over the nicer people.

two of the girls i know like mean guys.

must be some repressed sado-maschoistic impulse that makes them.

equality?

(this is by no means a generalisation, there are very professional women, and they dont fall into the stereotype described herein)

(Friday evening)
Scene : deadline nearing
Head(H) : "Everyone must work over the weekend! We have a crunch situation, we need to prove ourselves to the customer"

Female Coworker 1(FC1) : my husband wants to take me to for the weekend for a wedding in his family.
H: ohh hahahaha so lucky . Go by all means!

Female Coworker 2(FC2) : My mum in law is in town over the next three weeks. i cant come over the weekend.
H: *nodding to self* ohh yes, i too want my wife to be treatings my Maather with respuckt. please give your MIL my regards.

Me: I have some important bank work thats overdue.
H: ohhh nonono ... you have to come, you have to set an example for the younger entrants in the team ! look at me, i bought and im working from home too! (yeah like Excel takes a lot of brainpower?) defer your work, ill give you any day off next week, except we have a deadline next week, so i cant give you any day off till (4 months from now)

--- Equality ? what equality ?

where are all the sensible professional women coworkers ?

now and here

i am a good guy. doesnt mean that i can take shit lying down indefinitely.

when men feel frustrated, they cry sometimes. more often than not we happen to rail at fate, at our circumstances.
we feel insecure too.

to You, nameless silent one.

If i feel enraged that you have such a hard time REPLYING, and then have the gall to tell me "i was too busy", does that make me unreasonable and uncaring and insensitive?

or does that just make you a ogress ?

Just reply "i dont want to talk to you" , your stupid mindgames give your gender a bad name! (and i know GOOD people of your gender, not to appear biased or sexist or anything)

i know that i matter less than anything in your world, but do you HAVE to rub it in so ?

--

i realise you are busy, you have your work to do, and your friends and your life.

but am i not your friend too ? am i not part of your life?

its beastly hot.
it was horribly cold.

serves me right .
for letting those morons cut down the trees and level the green fields so that they could earn more money.

dratted emotions

i dont want to be ; but it appears i am.
besotted with the fact that i am unmarried.

call it peer pressure or the fact that all the nice girls i know are getting married one after another.

i just dont feel right. i just dont fit.

i want to and yet i dont want to. but im confused and unsure and scared.
and there's no answers. only the hollow question.

emotional charge

why do guys have to go after many girls at a time?

it is the law of statistical averages - especially if the guy in question is not
1. a filthy rich brat
2. poor but dazzlingly suave and great looking.

chances are the girls WILL put you off by saying "i dont get the spark from you" (what am i, an electrical transformer?) , "i'd be pleased if you did ask me but i dont feel the attraction" (now im a electrical transformer SUPERMAGNET?)

of all the shit things to say.
honestly, the worst has to be "ohh you're so nice, im sure the girl who finds you will be super lucky"(oh yeah? why dont you just say "sorry no change, move on!")

---

i dont want your pity, all i want is your company, devotion, love, understanding, for the rest of my life.

and i shall return it all , ten times over.

---

Kind of Women to Stay Away From

(hopefully this is the Non- MCP version)

or maybe you can consider it the Nice But Losing It Guy version
unlike This mostly Biased version

1. Women on the Rebound , i'm talking about the kinds who would NOT get attracted to you if you were the last Man on earth - if the Rebounder is a long time friend, it doesnt hurt if she doesnt mind.

2. Women with a really severe Money Spending Problem (unless she's earning it and burning it on things that do NOT involve both of you, or some genuine crisis issue)


3. Animated Mannequins With No Brains (this is true if you have a fair amount of brains) /Career Women (this is true if you are a Male Airhead)


4. Women who disrespect their own parents , if you are a Man who respects his own parents.


All above said and done, the responsibility in ANY relationship goes both ways. Men and Women, both have to work at it , no use being MCP or Feminist about it being the fault of the Other Side.

if its a problem , its BOTH of you who need to look for a solution.

Work Questionnaire

how many months have you been in your current job ?

how many months have you been feeling disgruntled or obsolete?

what are the reasons you would leave if any ?

when opportunity strikes

i detest men who think women are objects to be described in demeaning terms.
once i used to try and change them. nowadays i just only barely tolerate the company of such men.maybe they think that carrying a penis somehow makes me like them.

when i told her, she said "you are one of the good guys". well , inspite of me being one of the good guys the slimy guys described above are the ones having girlfriends or getting married.
--X--
she broke up with her guy.
i like her , but i will need some time to get to know if i can move ahead with telling her i adore her.

at the same time, i dont want to hurt her again if i am wrong.
but if i wait too long some OTHER guy is going to inveigle his way into her affection!
i want her to be happy, but since 2008 began , i want ME to be happy too!

being a good guy is sometimes so problematic!

on the one hand i dont want to be opportunistic, but i really do want to try and work it out with giving US a chance.

--X--

Weedingania

for the past three months or so, i have been visiting weedings like tomorrow.

of course you know what the word is but i call it weeding. the process of elimination of generally useful characters from the single world. rather contrary to the plant-related meaning of the word.

i realise this blog has descended into whole hearted cynicism, and frequent sarcastic digs at the world around me , but if that is the way it is, that is the way it is.

i fail to understand how some people can keep working at keeping together with someone who's evidently so wrong for them. i realise that Quarrels and Misunderstandings and Breakups and Reconciliations are part and parcel of relationships ... however this proclivity of some girls i generally adore to hang out with someone with whom they spend a vast majority disagreeing with, is totally beyond my (decidedly sub-par) male comprehension.

i may also be feeling miffed that they would choose that quarrelling, decidely non-poetic, unappreciative person over me. i guess the strife is the part of "the delicious frisson of excitement" that said girls find so fascinating.

some days i wish i was less of a 'caring understanding loving guy' if it meant i wasnt the guy being passed over.

i really hate it when some girl tells me 'have patience' . i want to scream , 'dont you get it ? i dont want to wait for some mythical possibly non-existent girl to show up, when all i want to do is be with YOU".

of late , trying to generate enough content to put on here , is not worth the effort.

after all, if no one reads it , is it really worth writing?

why oh why

it is an observation i have, that some women *like* to be pitied and emotionally abused. it gives them a sense of martyrdom. (in a less exalted verbiage, they adore S&M of the emotional nature)

because if they did not, what other possible reason would be to sigh and say "oh but he loves me i am sure he will change" and go back to the vapid and hurtful situation that is their relationship?

before the Feminists get on my case , let me point out to my defense, that i do not do anything of the above nature, preferring to remain single in the ghastly nightmarish belief that a relationship will cause me to transmogrify into this Hyde-ian (sic?) aberration myself.

----

i believe that while its not EASY getting out of abusive relationships, inspite of all the wellmeaning galpals and the (rare cases) well meaning elders, the ONLY person to get you out of an abusive relationship is yourself, because at the end of the day it is YOU who have to say "Enough is enough, i will NOT put up any more" and walk out.

contrary to popular thought

i do not particularly *love* listening to you whine about your loser, no good , emotionally dead/emotionally abusive boyfriend.

what i detest even MORE is you turning around and telling me "when are you getting married?" and reply "such a great guy like you shouldnt be single!"with a (internal) roll-of-eyes.

if i was so great how come a nice girl like him STILL goes back to abovementioned creep at the end of the day?

hey, i dont diss your relationship. just because i dont want to end up like abovementioned creep, doesnt mean i *LIKE* being single?

nowadays i am being more blunt with you about him. not because i want to be your rebound guy.

but because i really, REALLY feel for you. in ways that do not involve me starting to hug and kiss you and take you out on dates.

if you are too blind to see the above fact, i know i am better off than you.

---

law of statistical volume (or some such) .... the more girls i see, the more likely i am to find someone i like who is NOT taken.

and where , pray tell , am i to find someone of said nature ?

over two months

if anyone read this blog, it would matter much.

but since no one does,it really doesnt.

of late, going over the past few posts, it strikes me as being plain whiny. this blog showcases my darker side, not my whiny one.

--X--

probably i have said this before , but corporate life (atleast in my limited and thoroughly uneasy interaction with it) is nasty.

people really ARE a whole lot like you see in the Dilbert cartoons.

example: i am supposed to do something for which i need certain pieces of equipment. also i am supposed to hold some amount of knowledge for the same.

i am told that the piece of equipment cannot be used because it has a limited user license. ha ha. you are earning XYZ amount of money on this project and y oucant invest the amount of money to get ONE MORE LICENSE?

so all right i get myself adjusted to getting said piece of equipment set up in a way that doesnt violate the license terms. but the OTHER pieces of equipment are to take some big paperworky document filled by the boss' boss' boss' boss.

i just give up.

i am confused over whether to laugh maniacally or just stare in shocked wonderment at the absolute INSANITY that goes on behind the facade of "Quality Work".

--x--

so long

things that make girls like a guy
1. looks
2. interesting habits
3. money (this more towards the parental bits)

since i lack all of the above, why does it surprise me that i have no one who loves me romantically?

all the girls i know and admire are being married off.

the ones are not will hide behind the guise of 'being busy' - that makes me very angry. just the fact that i admire them, makes me hold my tongue.

its NOT my fault, why do you wall me off , and shut me out, like it was? and if its my fault, why cant you be courteous enough to tell me ?

dark smirk

thats what has got to cross my face nowadays at work.

number 1 peeve : affianced / engaged female coworker.
nice person as a rule. but ever since she grew that usual female appendage called A Fiance... she's been distracted. it wouldnt have been a big deal in a larger team, but since there's just me and that person, its a bit much if she spends ALL her time(okay im being unfair , only 4o% of 8 hours = 3 hours) talking to her whatnot on gtalk. when its not gtalk its him calling up. oh sure , IM being uncharitable. but then i had to put up with HER workload on the week she went on Engagement Leave. Next up , Visit Family Shrine leave. After that , Wedding Leave. After that, it'll be "Tachyoson Leaves" time. heh heh heh.(dark smirk#1).

oh what REALLY got my goat - on Friday morning she text messages at 5am and says "urgh urk...i've got a headache and cant come to work please tell Toad and Tadpole". i grind my teeth and prevent myself from tapping out a sharp reply. "let me give her the benefit of the doubt", i say to myself, "maybe she REALLY did have to puke" (the day before she was infrequently rubbing her brow and making achy sounds - a headache, she'd said).

Today - online she says "i actually went trosseau shopping and its all done except for his blazer". heh heh heh heh (dark smirk #2) - i knew my gut feeling was right.

as if ONE female annoyance wasnt enough, there's another.
an ill informed , over-opinionated person.
she's from a different technology area - and keeps coming up with ideas better suited for USERS (who are mostly ,except for the informed ones, sheep) .

anyway she has a bigger knack than Tadpole of bringing up stuff that SEEMS easy, but isnt , considering the technology we have to use to achieve it.

a request to help should NOT be officialized by emailing all the Toads up the ladder! something she should have understood.

anyway, i dug my foot in , and left in time to leave town for a week.

deeply

i feel extremely miffed when other people talk to her, but yet when i ask her anything, she stares into the distance as if i didnt exist.

i am either very paranoid , or invisible.

---

if it were just one person i would have put it down to just the way i do not get along with her.
but this is different people.

i know i may not be rich, handsome and statusful. but to shove me away like that is not being very nice, especially not when you say "We're Friends".

i'm tired of being "friends of convenience".

little hidden seeds of de

the other day in my endless channel hopping quest , i happened upon a program that was indeed quite interesting in its cheerful demeanor of highlighting some of the most ghastly things that modern society has visited on us.

smoking - a whole lot of people ravaged by cancer turn out at the cigarette makers on Xmas day to heartily sing Xmas carols in metallic voices.

pollution - giving a statue to a guy who was the biggest polluter in that country.

nuclear war - the denizens of the (then - this was an old program) new entrants to the "Mile-high Club" were asked how much they spent on anti-fallout shelters ? they spent millions of non-tax evaders slaves on finding a Decisive Deterrent - and provide NOTHING for the people who will be decimated if they decide to go play someday.
this reinforced my belief - "there are so many people on earth, that there is a set of people , to which losing some of us would cause no more remorse than if you or I (meaning the normal people) were to step on a couple of tiny ants.

i despair, indeed i despair.